Recent unfortunate developments and its long term effect on Indian society.

Recently, I am seeing many couples in India getting separated. Which is new to a country where divorce rate is historically very less. That doesn't mean couples in India are happy earlier. Many of them are quite unhappy and hate the other person. But, in my opinion they remained together for below reasons-

1. Divorce is a big taboo.
2. Divorced women are easy target.
3. Divorced women are not accepted in society.
4. Women and young children are completely dependent on men.
5. Opportunities for a women to make on their own are limited.

These are some reason I can think of on top of my head. To rectify them and help women and children, government of India made some laws with good intentions. They have provisions to protect women and implicate men and his family in below cases-

1. Demanding money from wife.
2. Abusing wife physically or emotionally.
3. Not taking care of needs of wife.
4. Forcing husband to give part of husbands income to meet her needs.

Frankly speaking, these provisions are great and needed for the protection of innocent women victims. But the unfortunate thing is, these provisions are made with an assumption that one gender is always victims and the other gender is always culprits. If that is the case, these laws are awesome. Unfortunately, it is not the case always. The result is wide spread abuse of these laws. Which became rampant and a tool in the hands of some evil women. 

Based on my personal experience and what I heard from people, below are some reasons why some women are abusing these laws-

1. A women marries without her wish and wants to get out of the relationship. This might be due to-
1. Previous relationship.
2. Career ambitions.
2. Husband is not meeting wife's financial/sexual expectations.
3. Wife is not able to adjust with husband's family.
4. Disagreement with Husband on day to day issues.

For many of the above reasons, it is okay for the couple to separate. Because, in arranged marriage system(which is still more prevalent in India), the couple don't know a lot about each other and marries without spending enough time with each other. In my opinion, it is not correct to force them to spend their whole life's together even after they realize that.

Here comes what some women do, they take advantage of the biased laws and uses them to score points and destroy the life of another individual/family. What they generally claim is as below-

1. Husband (and his family) is/are demanding additional money.
2. Husband (and his family) is/are abusing wife physically/emotionally.
3. Husband is not fulfilling basic needs like food/clothing.

If any of the above is true, the women should get justice and the perpetuator should be punished. But, in many cases it is not true. Instead, the women and her family do this in the background-

1. File false cases(like 498A) on husband and his family and send them to prison.
2. Ruin the reputation of husband's family.
3. Start a background discussion to get a high amount as part of settlement.
4. Set terms on how husband and his family should act.

While the wife, who presents herself as victim gets what she wants. The husband and his family, are the real victims in that particular case. Again, these real victims are specific to that particular case. But the long term and irreparable damage is being doing to the below-

1. Real female victims.
2. Marriage as an institution.

With cases like this happening regularly around everyone, it is hard to believe a women even if what she is saying is true.

For the next generation of guys, trusting a girl becomes very difficult after seeing and hearing so many such cases around.

When I try to think of a reason for why some women do this. I get the answer as "why not". When it is so easy to play victim card and get lot of money, why to lose such opportunity.

In summary, guys falling prey to wicked girls gets their life ruined and society stops trusting the story of good girls who are struggling in the hands of wicked guys. In these 2 cases, if I have to tell which is worse, I can't answer that. 

I also want to share a documentary made to highlight this menace. This documentary made me rewind what happened during my first marriage. While my case is not as worse as any case mentioned in this documentary. It still had a very bad impact on me and my family. I still get scary dream where Police are giving me warnings(some how I can't take that picture out of my mind). She complaining to Police with false accusations has put an end to any possibility of me trusting her again. Reconciliation we tried only delayed the inevitable. I am sure that without police involvement and little bit effort from both of us, issues between us would have been easily solved.

Anyway, I am with a wonderful women now. Who, I feel lucky to have in my life.

I will suggest every guy to know about 498A and its implications before selecting a girl for marriage. This way, guys can be more careful to choose a partner for rest of their life. 

Note: This article is fully my personal opinion based on my experience. I also believe that the wrong doings of some women doesn't apply to all women.